In September of 2023, I posted an update on LinkedIn to explain why I decided to retire early after working tirelessly to build an amazing, rewarding career. The response to that post was overwhelming. I appreciated the many kind words from people, further bolstering my confidence into this next phase of my life.
For days after I made my post, my phone and LinkedIn Messaging blew up. You could generalize the reactions from my friends, family, and colleagues into three flavors: 1. congratulatory, 2. astounded, and/or 3. connected.
I loved the congratulatory pat on the back comments. It meant a lot that so many people from my journey took the time to cheer me on.
Many people were genuinely astounded that I made such a decision. For decades, they knew me as an ambitious leader who would take on the toughest challenges and tackle them with confidence. My brand was to work. I was like a corporate Clydesdale.
Could a person with my drive retire before 50? Heck no!
After many people I knew shared their astonishment, their next question was if I would continue to mentor and coach them. People I never met who read my post also asked the same of me. For those of you who asked, keep reading… things are going to get good!
The abundant connected reactions are what I may have appreciated the most. Many women (and some men) sent me direct messages to tell me that they saw themselves in my words. Some even found themselves crying (well, maybe just the women told me they cried). Others reached out to say that their conflict between work and family couldn’t have been explained any clearer than how I wrote it. Then, there were others who told me I was living out their dream and they admired me taking the chance to fully live this one life we are given.
Said simply, my post connected with more people than I ever could have imagined.
For those of you who did not read the LinkedIn post or who simply want the Cliff’s Notes version, here it is:
After holding several jobs/internships to pay for my college education and then building an amazing career for a quarter of a century, I had the means to retire early. With an unwavering confidence, I acted on my waning ambition in the workplace and decided to prioritize investing my time in the things that now bring me the greatest joy. Over the coming weeks, months, and years I plan to focus on my family, design work, advising companies, traveling, and giving back to my community.
As excited (and proud) as my family is for me to experience this next chapter in my journey, they still made their skepticism of my pivot known. They wonder what I will do with all my time. They know me as the person who seemed to relish the heavy demands of a Fortune 500 senior executive, board member, design student, three-million-mile flyer, mom of two young boys, and wife.
Honestly, of late, my people haven’t seen me juggle all these roles well because I suspect my heart wasn’t into the day-to-day responsibilities that demanded most of my time.
Like my family, I too am wondering what I will do with an extra 8-12 hours that consumed every weekday (and many weekends) of my life for a quarter of a century. As I make my transition, I thought it might be interesting to avoid simply going through the motions of adapting to a new lifestyle. Instead, I intend to take the time to reflect and activate different (when needed) approaches, ensuring I am getting the most out of this new experience.
As I reflected on the reactions from my post, it all hit me! The words of encouragement and support gave me the courage to take a stab at exploring something I am passionate about but never had the time outside of work to really focus much on: writing.
For those of you who worked with me, you know that I like to write. You perhaps read (or watched) one of my Friday “Weekend Updates” that I sent consistently each week for the past six years; or maybe you received my “Weekly Recaps” when I was leading your consulting project team (back in the day).
If you were my client, you may have received a “Letter from the Future” that articulated a vision for where we could take your business or you a received a “Love Letter” explaining a commitment to your success.
Writing is just one example of how a personal passion crept into my professional life. By doing so, my work product was better because I was able to do my best work (on most attempts) because I was passionate about how I went about completing the task at hand.
I figure that if I do more than simply reflect on this new journey and take the time to write about my observations and share them publicly (now, that is scary for this private person!), I will be able to say “yes” to all (and then some) of the requests I received to mentor and coach. In return, just like in my Corporate America days, I suspect I will learn as much (if not more) from all of you than you learn from me. Now, that is a win/win!
Then, I thought even bigger – for those of you who have worked with me, this shouldn’t be a surprise!
Could a blog be the foundation for a new community that learns from one another, sharing how we can collectively invest our time in experiences that bring us a little (or a lot) of joy, regardless of our employment status?
So, yes, I am not even two weeks into retirement, and I am already “back at it.” I named my blog, created a scrappy website (you need to start somewhere, right?!) and whipped up some content.
My chosen blog title of “Life After Ambition” didn’t resonate with some of my mentors. When they first heard the name, they thought it implied I was simply giving up. It is quite the opposite. It is about confidently accepting that who I want to do my best work for has simply changed. To make such a decision feels like the most empowering, feministic thing I have ever done in my life.
Coincidentally, the day I announced my retirement to my boss, I headed out later to get my nails done. I had a year-old Elle magazine in my bag, I flipped through it, and landed on Ann Friedman’s article “What Comes After Ambition” that explores the waning “hustle culture” that is taking shape in America.
Much like the people who contacted me after reading my LinkedIn post to tell me how much my words resonated with them, I wanted to reach out to Ms. Friedman and tell her what I had done earlier that day and that everything she wrote about was me. I was the article!
It was a sign. For me to randomly discover what Ms. Friedman wrote on the day I quit a 25-year career I worked like crazy to achieve was God giving me a pat on the back, confirming He led me to this place, and that I did the right thing.
Making that retirement call to my boss didn’t just happen on a dime. My career ambitions didn’t wane overnight. Instead, they slowly faded away with a few key milestones.
The first milestone was when I was handed The Mayor. I immediately asked myself how I was going to balance flying nearly 300,000 miles a year while taking care of the most beautiful child I had ever seen. I managed it for a couple of years. I remember weeks being exhausted beyond comprehension as I traveled to multiple cities, making stops at home in between, either putting The Mayor to bed, or being with him when he woke up in the morning.
The second milestone was during COVID. It was the first time in two decades that Bogey and I were grounded and living in one city consistently every single week. We nested. We ate every meal together. We created our own art gallery in our basement. We taught The Mayor to ride a bike. We had countless adventures that brought us closer together than ever. Again, I asked myself how I could ever get back on an airplane for work and leave my people.
The third milestone was when Boom Boom finally arrived… five years later than what we planned. This was THE milestone that broke the proverbial camel’s back. The Three Amigos finally became the Four Amigos. I didn’t want to miss a single minute with them.
I gritted my way through 18 months of work even when I was accomplishing things that I always dreamed of: more responsibility, tackling bigger and harder problems, launching transformational programs successfully. Even while achieving all this success at work, I was clearly searching for something more because I also decided to start college again to finally earn an interior design degree – another passion that I am sure will make a big debut in this next chapter!
I tried to fit career and college in while doing my best to spend as much time as possible with mi Amigos. However, the amount of time I was spending at (or worrying about) work got in the way of me enjoying this life that I had dreamed about since I was a kid.
Finally, it just hit me. I had the means to retire and invest my time doing my best work for the people who matter the most. I didn’t need to sneak my passions into the workplace to be able to focus on them. I could simply focus on my passions.
So, here it goes, Week 1 of retirement and the start of a blog to reflect on my experiences… or, maybe better yet, the start of a community where we learn from one another through candor and authenticity, all while being kind and supportive.
The images I had of myself the first morning of retirement were of J.C. Wiatt from one of my favorite movies of all time, Baby Boom. Was this movie starting to play out in real life? As I looked around me, many of the elements the “Tiger Lady” required to create a new beginning, including belted coats (or what my semi-native Aussie work friend likes to call my “bath robes”) were already part of my existing life:
- Baby? Check!
- Ranch? Check!
- Apple tree? Check!
- Empathy? Check!
- Business acumen? Check!
- Boundless energy? Check!
Could something bigger be brewing and I don’t even know it?
Honestly, my first days of retirement may seem “average” to many people. To me, they were extraordinary.
- The low oil indicator in my car no longer appears. I finally got this way overdue item checked off the to do list!
- I ran daily. Could a marathon (or half marathon) be back in my life again?
- Denver Nana and I took a leisurely walk together. We chit chatted. I wasn’t in a rush!
- While dropping Boom Boom off at Montessori school, I got to hear him say “apple” as clear as a bell when he picked one up that would leave a mouse hungry, clutched it in his hand, and marched right into class.
- My family enjoyed dinners that I cooked. Like, really cooked. I chopped vegetables. I made broth. I made ingredient substitutions with reckless abandon. Cucumbers and zucchinis are both green, so… I went for it! I got lost in my thoughts.
- The Mayor and Boom Boom both enjoyed their first ever mom-made after-school snack: tzatziki sauce with pita chips. The Mayor (and I suspect Boom Boom too) agreed that the idea of retirement looked (and tasted) pretty good!
After reflecting on my accomplishments for these first few days, I realized that I was taking a very “corporate” approach to assessing how my days went. I was measuring success based on accomplishments and outcomes. I then asked myself, am I realizing a greater sense of achievement? Said differently, how did these activities make me feel?
Upon further reflection and putting a new lens on how I would assess myself in retirement, I realized that I felt:
- Appreciated. I did my best work for the people who mean the most to me. They said thank you and they genuinely meant it. Their appreciation held a lot more weight than the empty “Thank You” email replies I received after sending a thoughtful email response or sharing a work product that my team and I were really stinking proud of.
- Carefree. Of course, I had a plan for my days; however, the commitments didn’t seem as daunting as they did before when I was juggling it all… and dropping a few balls.
- Connected. I gave Denver Nana (and others) my undivided attention– no phone calls or text messages interrupted our time together. I also didn’t revert to the constant “I gotta go” line that diminished the importance of our relationship over the last few years. I felt good when our walk was over. I suspect Denver Nana felt even better.
Unlike J.C. Wiatt who had an all-out meltdown in her Baby Boom retirement days, I have had little to no anxiety and am excited for what the days and weeks ahead of me have in store. Like one of Ann Friedman’s friends said in her article:
’Yes, I’m ambitious’ ‘but climbing the corporate ladder does not interest me like it used to. A title, a bump in pay—it’s not satisfying. What I need to feel successful and fulfilled is completely different. Am I doing something that brings satisfaction? Do I feel like I’m learning? Do I feel like I’m contributing? Do I feel like I’m connecting to other people? Do I feel like I have flexibility in this new way we live and work? Am I given not only responsibility but autonomy? Am I in a place that aligns with my values? The things that I am looking for have changed.’
Friedman, Ann. “What Comes After Ambition?” Elle.com. August 18, 2022. https://www.elle.com/life-love/opinions-features/a40835443/women-rejecting-traditional-ambition-2022/.
I get a great sense of pride when The Mayor tells people proudly that his mom retired after holding a job every day since she turned 16.
On the flip side, I proudly tell The Mayor how much I enjoy the additional time I am spending with him.
We played math games for a good hour the other night for school homework. We laughed… like full on belly laughs that relieve every ounce of stress in your body! Two weeks ago, I would have invested the requisite five minutes in the math game to get everyone to bed faster so I could get a decent amount of sleep before the alarm went off in the morning.
Life was always sweet. This week, I seem to appreciate more just how sweet it is.
I would love to hear from you!
- How does “Life After Ambition” make you feel now that you understand the context?
- What experiences today brought you the most joy?
- What will you do tomorrow to amplify (or change) that feeling?
- Who did you do your best work for?
